Have been in stitches reading this OFCOM report about the use of profane language on TV.

Page five had me in tears. You can only imagine how those focus groups went … a smart hotel function room … keen, Middle-England respondents gathered round an anxious moderator who checks their notes and then announces, “OK then everyone… muff diver?”

I’m researching what words and phrases I can and can’t put into a pre-watershed comedy drama. And it’s actually quite vague. It can depend on the number of times you use the word, who speaks it, to whom, and in what circumstance.

So what to do? Well I’m going to put in my profanities, because anyone reading to page five will know that some words have special powers and are very, very funny. And it’s up to my Script Editor and the many layers of broadcast management to agonise over each and every one of my shits.